And so,
I
the "optimum" gold-silver ratio gives us cause to be here,
A matter of keen interest to bugs far and near.
But of an era now bygone when gold and silver had worth
Recognized well as money in most places on earth.
Not so much is it sad, but a simple fact just to say
That this is no longer our case here today.
Might this change in the future? Yes, of course that could be.
But so too could seashells again become currency.
Though gold and silver, I'd think, have a much better shot
Considering all the stuff throughout history they’ve bought
But an optimum ratio, for things of this kind?
Such answers are not always easy to find.
How can one judge how gold or silver will stand
When the checker at Wal-Mart won't even take your Krugerrand?
II
An "optimum" ratio for any two things must be
associated with a certain amount of utility.
Take quarters, for instance, as our tale is spun,
Their ratio to dollars is now 4 to 1.
This is our habit and has through time worked out well,
But a loss of that ratio would shoot all things to hell.
Consider the confusion. Just think of the pain
If it were 3 to 1 in Chattanooga and 5 to 1 in Champlain.
But sooner rather than later this anomaly would cease.
Arbitrage would move in, restore the ratio and peace.
Quarters would flow from merchant to shark
From early in the morning ‘till well after dark.
Quarters would flow for business. Not simply for fun.
They'd flow ‘till that ratio was restored 4 to 1.
And of those who'd refuse to play along with the game?
They'd all disappear, go out of business just the same.
Imagine any merchant, every time you sought change
Took your dollar in hand and gave you three quarters back, strange.
He might insist ‘till the end that his business was fair,
But having done this enough, his store’d no longer be there.
III
So if others try to give you ideal gold-silver ratio advice
At twenty to one or some other set price.
You can rest quite assured at the end of this lecture
That all facts you’ve been given are little more than conjecture.
Predicting such a ratio in times like today
Perhaps should be looked at in a quite different way.
Like predicting results or a high-scoring sports bet
On a game played with rules not invented quite yet.
Will they play with a ball? Will they play with a bat?
Will their salaries be small? Will their bonuses be fat?
Will they wear a Chairman of the Federal Reserve hat?
No one can know; no one can say.
But I, for one, hope that there will come a day
When the optimum gold-silver ratio is more relevant
Rather than continuing to be this white elephant.
IV
Wiegand says silver 250 with gold at three thou'.
Moriarty says all goes to hell starting now.
But I would be happy to just see thirty to one,
And not have to consider taking aim at my neighbors with a gun.
I see myself now, standing watch from my casement
Wondering why I've stored all that silver down in my basement.
They're coming for me; I’ve been such a fool.
I should have listened to Jon Nadler and stuck with the Kitco gold pool.
But for now, is silver money? Some say, "yes," some say, "no."
As if silver cares one wit where they think it will go.
As oil, zinc and iron fell in such steep decline
So did all of the product from each silver mine.
Seems like a commodity, or so we might hold.
Certainly not the type of insurance that’s provided by gold.
But one thing is certain, more certain than strange.
As certain as laws, all things can change.
If there are indeed places where the Terminator can become Gov',
Then any and all things we hate we can love.
And if Moriarty is right and things really do hit the skids
You’ll be glad that you bought all the silver you did.
V
Now I'm not indeed saying we will all see that day
When silver regains its 15 to 1 way,
But I'd much rather risk having egg on my face,
So I've got a whole heaping lot in the vault just in case.
And hopefully I'll live to see 45 to 1.
Or maybe just 30. Twenty would be fun.
Dave Morgan and the "Guru" will sip tea then and say,
"Why didn't they listen? We told ‘em it’d end up this way."
For now, my kids eat with silverware every time we sit down.
It’s fine dining for all when there’s silver around.
But the day we must sell it all might be even finer
To get on a boat that takes us to China.
