1. Q: What is the one thing Wall St and the Olympics have in common?
A: Synchronised diving.
2. I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.
3. Overheard in a City bar: ‘This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.’
4. What’s the capital of Iceland?
About $3.50.
5. Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
6. A British “banker” explains the subprime credit crisis in this brilliant YouTube video.
7. Leave it to a comic strip to explain a bank bailout.
8. Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.
9. Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday night.
10.“I tried to make a withdrawal from an ATM and the machinesaid‘Insufficient Funds’. I wasn’t sure if it meant for me or the bank.”
11. “I lent my friend $20 last week and according to the market I qualify as the country’s 4th largest lender.”
12. Broker to Client: “I’ve got good news - you’ll be paying 40% less in fees for the foreseeable future!”
13. I wrote a check for $100 to my friend but he never got it; the check was good, the bank bounced.
14. The crisis is so bad Bank Atm’s now have slot machines